


Prevail - A Marble Hornets AU

by everymanWRITER



Category: Marble Hornets, Slenderverse - Fandom
Genre: AU, M/M, Marble Hornets - Freeform, Slenderverse, brim - Freeform, jaylex, totheark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-07-15 08:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7214299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everymanWRITER/pseuds/everymanWRITER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'All my friends are heathens.'<br/>AU where Brian reveals his identity as Hoodie instead of meeting a sudden demise and Seth gets more... development. But one thing doesn't change- Tim still prevails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i literally have no idea how to work this godforsaken website please forgive my sins and errors okay its my first fic  
> *This story will have slightly different events considering I can't cite dialogue from every entry off by heart and accurately, some moments will play out differently for the sake of the plot*

### Chapter One: The Small Print

A dark alter ego for a heavy hearted man. A certain pale mask tumbled down from my hand. Was I heartbroken that he was more familiar with the black eyed mask than he was with me, or have I just become the face of deception? Contaminated eyes give corrosive glares- the acid tears welled up in Tim's eyes as he looked on at me with sheer disbelief. 

'Fuck you.' He mouthed from where he laid on the chilly tiled floor. 

How tasteless. I guess the consistent taste of blood would be enough to de-sensitise anyone's tongue and mind. So many years. So much of my efforts gone out the window. So much more than time has been taken. Pathetic. You'd think he'd recognise me.

_Seth warned me about Tim. Seth knows and Seth always knew._

Everyone out there thinks they know something. Tim managed to con Jay into his whole 'Masky isn't really me!' act. But I knew. _Seth_ knew. You'd think the smartass would realise who I am. Returning my mind to the present, I shifted my focus to the black haired, dark eyed, onyx hearted Timothy who was wheezing at my feet. I kicked his mask at him so he could make the _conscious_ decision to come back to us. My breathing hitched as I watched Tim draw in the mask- his mask. Steadily, he rose up in his weak state, albeit reluctantly, but I rejoiced in the idea that I had to power to kill him if he burdened me. In fact, it made my mouth foam. I was his first friend and I will be the only. Think of it as punishment for trying to replace me with that useless tool Jay. 

Alas, Tim's work here wasn't finished. As silent as ever, I motioned for him to follow me in his usual puppy dog stagger. Having the upper hand was the most favourable position, it's undeniable, but it doesn't matter if you have your back turned. An all too familiar noise of metal scraping across the floor shook me like chains; should I look back or just run?

I opted for the former, contorting my head I realised Tim had picked up a lead pipe with substantial weight. Well, fuck. My heavy boots gave the ground a severe beating as I took off with my heart in my throat and hot blood in my veins. The crumbling walls stained with vulgar grafiti seemed to mock me as I suddenly forgot my way around this place in my hazy panic. A dead end, a balcony, and a choice. Kill myself or get killed. Why does it have to end this way? What will Seth do all by his self? I fought harder than any one of these fuckers- it shouldn't be me dying- THIS IS ALL WRONG. 

This is it. Tim forgot me and now he won't even remember killing me because the daft shit doesn't even know it's me. No. No, I won't be forgotten again. Cornered by Tim; I did what I could to stall him. 

**Tim's P.O.V**

Fighting against my shaky vision, I set my sights on the cowering hooded piece of shit that tormented me day and night. What a beautiful end to it all; if anything I deserved this more than he did. For all I cared, the figure wasn't even human. He was always so silent but could worm his way into my mind and bully me into submission. Now, the tables have turned and here I stand with the ultimatum; kill him or get killed. Picking up my pace, I darted towards him and lifted the heafty weapon above my head. Glaring through my watery eyes I was caught off guard by the man slipping his gloved fingers under his mask of similar materials. My arms sluggishly fell limp and I skidded across the hazardous floor and stopped in front of him. 

I wish he had never removed his mask. 

God, _why_ did he have to remove his mask? 


	2. Deathwish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, just me again with another chapter  
> enjoy ++ feedback is greatly appreciated, even if i don't get around to replying i always will read it !!

**Brian's P.O.V ******

My own sick little dream had come true. Tim's dark eyes fell upon my face and he radiated self-depreciation now more than ever. Guilt settled behind his eyes like a fresh snow and my heart glittered with hope. Did he ever stay up at night wondering about me like I did about him? You're right in thinking 'Oh Brian, if it bothered you so much why didn't you reveal your identity in earlier?'- but is it so wrong of me to try to get my old(?) best friend to try and recognise me by his self? Besides, if he knew it was me pulling the strings and saving his ass from Alex every now and then, he wouldn't have his douchey 'independent' hero thing going and I guess he deserved to feel strong for once. I mean even now he stands before me with dilated pupils, panting like a rabid dog, as if I was Medusa and he was paralysed.

I cleared my sandpaper throat and opened up my canine mouth, running my tongue over my teeth in one swift motion. Like a kick in the head, my craving for something raw made my jaw throb. The uncomfortable impatience could be felt in my teeth. However, this time I didn't attack him like some savage animal but conspired to prolong our game of cat and mouse. 

'So, uhm.' My voice dripped in faux innocence. 'Are you going to kill me?' 

Tim's voice crackled like torched firewood but he spoke in a shy, ashen whisper. 'Brian? B-Brian? Is... is it you?' 

Silence. My empty lungs drew in oxygen as I readied myself for my leap of faith. Finally beginning to stabilise myself, I cautiously shuffled towards the ticking time bomb known as Tim Wright on my knees. He let me nearer. I got nearer. 

'Has it been you the whole time?' His coarse voice was most definitely the product of his heavy chain smoking. 'Please, please tell me.' 

I nodded in response to his plea. 'It's been me for every last waking minute, Tim. I really thought you'd recognise me... but I guess people change after they go missing and you don't look for them.' My guilt-trip scheme had now been disguised as heartbreak. Or maybe it was the other way around? 

Noticing the heavy pipe still within our radius, Tim angrily kicked it away and proceeded to bury his head in his rough hands. 'How blind am I?' He muttered. 'I've been looking in all the wrong FUCKING places and it nearly got you killed!' Slowly, he lifted his heavy head. Why didn't you tell me sooner?' 

Wrapping my arms around myself, I looked away from him, mocking his bashfulness without him even taking notice. 'I thought you knew. I thought I meant enough for you not to replace me.' 

With wild eyes, Tim stared me down like I had physically become the animal I truly felt I was. 'R-replace you? With Jay? Brian, for all I knew Jay was the only other person alive aside from Alex!' He stood up and began pacing around. 'You can't... you can't possibly blame me for needing a companion!' 

Accepting the unspoken challenge, I too stood up. 'You lied to him.' I chimed in. 'You told him you don't remember your alter ego as easily as you told him I'm a 'shell of a person'. You are a LIAR.' Clutching my mask in my fist, I punched one of the pathetic, pasty walls. 

Of course he was all bark and no bite. He continued to retort whilst distancing himself from me. 'How the Hell do you explain that to anyone?!' Tim spat. ' 'Oh hey Jay! Guess what, I run around in a mask at night and try to break people's legs with rocks!'- You see it doesn't fucking work! What do you want me to do?!' 

A bittersweet taste numbed my tongue as I sunk my teeth into it. Not enough to sever the muscle, of course, but just enough to draw blood. I dwindled on the metallic flavour before getting back to the problem at hand. One solution raced through my mind again and again like a stampede of spite and envy. 

'Come with us. And stay with us.' I glared at him, trying to give the most serious impression. But again, Tim is not a bright boy. 

'Come where?' For once he looked at me full on; my eyes caught the attention of his and his chapped lips trembled when I smirked. With one outstretched, gloved hand- I spoke clearer than ever. 

'To the Ark.' 

********


	3. Smoke and Mirrors

**Tim's P.O.V**  
Jay. The name scuttled through my mind like an illusive spider. My hand instinctively ran through my hair as I shuddered unpleasantly. There's no way in Hell he'll know where I've gone and there's no chance I'll ever tell him. That's if I even get the opportunity to see him ever again. He's on his own again. Fuck, I'm worse than Alex! Jay can't manage on his own and I know that more than anyone... This is wrong... I need to go back for him...  
But I can't.

Feebly, I lift my head to watch as Brian drifts through the trees like he's done it a million times. For the past twenty minutes all we've done is weave through the forest next to that godawful college campus- who's to say Alex hasn't seen us? Then again, it's been utterly silent apart from the raving noise in my head.

I think we're approaching a new building, I've never seen it before but it's certainly in the horizon. A cat skitters by. The sudden crackle of dry leaves and twigs sets me off about 2 feet into the air with an embarrassing cry of fear. In response, Brian turns and scowls at me in rabid anger. What a pleasant 'tour guide'. As the trees get less dense and more sparse, the alien building peers at me just as I do to it. From the building to Brian, my eyes scour everything as I try to digest it all. Is there any point in asking Brian just what the Hell is happening? He's barely the same person I remember, let alone the most helpful guy in town. Speaking of; what do I even remember? I chased Brian with a metal pipe, he removed that fucking _mask_ , then in the midst of my complete mindfuck he convinced me to come with him. How did that song go?  I will follow him, follow him wherever he may go.

At least that's how it used to be- before all of this cruel mess.

"We're here. Just don't make a sound as you go in." Brian announced without taking his eyes off the deteriorating facility. No wonder Brian and 'Totheark' hadn't been found; for anyone to live in the awfully abandoned looking site would be inhumane. But who's to say Brian has anything human left in him? I kept these thoughts to myself, of course, but Brian spoke again anyways. This time though, he looked dead at me. 

"By the way," His psychotic grin reappeared. "If you show this haven to anyone, I will kill you." 

Haven? I wouldn't take it that far. More like... 'Land of Ashen Waste'. Broken windows, crumbling brick, burned in roofs galore- this once esteemed campus building (which is what I assume it was considering it's in the college radius) looked more like a hellhole. I swallowed hard and followed Brian through a makeshift cellar door, brushing off the mould from the walls that seeped onto my clothing. The pungent stench of damp and rot rooted itself into my senses. From the two seconds I had been inside the place, I was already too afraid to inhale as I worried I might get fucking asbestos. What worried me more was how disturbingly terrifying Brian would look in an asbestos mask. Yeah, his ski mask thing was spooky at times but Jesus Christ... I didn't think it could get worse. Stop scaring yourself, Tim. Everything is fine.

Brian opened his mouth again. "Through here." He motioned towards some medieval ass stone stairs going downwards in the very corner of the dark room. If this was already the cellar, how deep down does this damn thing go?

Steadily, I trotted down three stairs out of what seemed to be twenty very, very steep ones. The passageway was narrow so I pressed my hand to the cold wall beside me to keep my balance. Who need balance when a madman in a mustard coloured hoodie can _shove you down the fucking stairs_ instead? You heard me right. Before I could even think twice, Brian's firm hands knocked into my bruised back and I went flying down the chipped stairs. This time I didn't keep it to myself; as I hit the dirt floor at the bottom, my jaw dropped and I wailed at the top of my lungs. Brian's wicked laugh mocked me as I screamed through the throbbing pain while I laid in a vulnerable heap. Everything hurt. This was the biggest goddamn mistake I had ever made and I had no one to blame but myself.

"Cry allllll you want, my love." He said as his laughed slowed. I tried to scream over him but he wasn't bothered. "No Jay to kiss your boo-boos... What will you do?" The taste of iron and blood shot through my tounge like electricity and I used what little energy I had to vocalise. 

"Shut the Hell up you b-bastard!" I scowled and kicked the wall from where i laid on the floor. "You need help... you're sick..." I shook my head in disbelief." 

Terrified, my body tensed as I heard Brian descending down the stairs to catch up with me. In a blind, painful panic, I sat up and kicked away from him. He tutted at me coldly and removed a dull orange pill bottle from his pockets. "No, Tim, _you_ need help. Remember?" And on cue, my insane coughing rattled my battered body. I tried fruitlessly to stifle my cough; my body ached from the fall and the cough made me feel the true intensity of all the blows that I took. No matter what I did, I avoided Brian's eyes as if they were the blinding, scorching, hateful Sun. However, Brian wasn't taking the hint and he held out his gloved hand to me once more. I didn't dare move. Regardless, he took my scraped arms and pulled me up into... into... an embrace. There was no way I could fight back but suddenly my cough slowed and I let my guard down. I had no energy to run or push him away; I just rested my frail form on his and cried.

"It's kind of like the old days, y'know? You... crying on my shoulder." His voice was tainted with self-satisfaction yet... that hope _my_ Brian once held. Snap out of it Tim, he'll be the death of you. 

Although I still had zero energy to separate myself from him as much as I'd like, I leaned back against the wall and jolted my head to the side to look away from him. "Yeah, well, in the old days I would have thought you love- _cared_ about me enough to not shove me down fucking stairs and try to kill me!" I refrained from biting my dry lips as much as I could but I was beyond infuriated.

Brian stepped back with a flustered, stricken look. He went from sick puppy to sad puppy in an instant. "What did you say?" 

I purposely glared at him with the widest eyes I could. "Hmm, maybe that you _tried to KILL me?_ " Brian shook his head. 

"No... you were going to say I loved yo-" Thankfully, a new voice cut Brian off. Wait, holy shit? Who the Hell...

"Alright, just what the fuck is happening here? Brian, you have shit to do and- Oh my GOD Brian, _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?_ " Seth. It was Seth. My stomach gave way and I fell back to the ground; this time a little less conscious than before. As my vision escaped me, I heard Seth cry out before I went numb. 

"Kill him, Brian! _Kill the fucker before he wakes up again!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the short chapters (idk if ive said this a thousand times or not lol)


	4. Catch Myself

It was like a hangover.

A really, really lethal hangover.

I couldn't fool my disoriented self for half a second, as soon as I came around I smelled the wet, rotting atmosphere and I knew I wasn't safe. Did I have an episode? Fuck, am I even still alive? Seth's shrieking still shook my mind, as if a bullet was let loose in my empty head. For all I know, he's standing over me with a hatchet or something. I hadn't opened my eyes yet. I refused. Even my eyeballs ached it was just that bad. If I didn't shuffle about too much I wouldn't alarm Brian or Seth (who I assume look forward to finishing me off). Just compose yourself, Tim. It might be the only chance you get. 

My body gently sank into what felt like a mattress as I steadied my breathing. Well, at least it was softer than the cement-esque accommodations at the local hotels. Hotels... God damn it! I'm still checked into that hotel with Jay! 

**Jay.**

My heart thumped like thunder as tears cascaded past the barrier that was my eyelids. The crying was so unexpected and sudden I nearly leapt up to prevent myself from drowning in the liquid sadness- but I couldn't budge in fear of what lay ahead of me.No one could deny, I had failed Jay. What kind of worthless asshole am I? I've failed him. Hell, I even failed Alex. At least I could make Alex happy by just dropping dead. I began to panic as the crying transitioned into ugly, uncontrollable hiccups that shook my weak body. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. Even if I held my breath, it was completely hopeless. And just as felt myself begin to space out and let the shuddering consume me; I was harshly turned onto my back by a pair of strong, gloved hands. 

Unlike any pill I poisoned myself with, the sight of Brian was enough to pull me back to this earthly shithole. Yet just like my doctors, Brian crammed one of the vile meds into my mouth. 

"These are good for you, y'know?" He said in a professional voice. 

_Yeah, and I'm supposed to take that from someone who pushed me down stairs?_

I didn't dare speak to him for obvious reasons (I mean, even if I wanted to my mouth was dryer than the surface of Mars). Swallowing the pill was like swallowing razors but he wasn't wrong about them helping. I glanced over at the orange bottle on the floor. Just as I suspected, they were the same pills stolen from my house- the label with my name and doctor's name on it was a dead giveaway. As my eyes kept losing focus when I stared at the bottle, it clicked that something was seriously wrong with me. Can you go blind from tumbling down cement steps? I truly wasn't hoping to be the one to find out. Hesitantly, I looked to Brian with my eyes half open. He sat next to me on the mattress and faintly seemed to be offering me a water bottle. My stiff joints cracked as I outstretched my arm to take the drink from him. The cold, metallic tasting spring water helped me substantially.

My croaky voice came out quiet and hoarse as expected. "Why... why am I still alive?" I shut my eyes after I finished speaking. It hurt too much to keep them open, but I still remained awake. 

Small, gentle creaks came from the springs in the mattress as Brian did whatever he was doing. At this point, I didn't even care to look. I've said it once and I'll say it a hundred times over without fail; if he were to drive a screwdriver into the back of my neck right now it would be more relief than pain. Maybe I could die a little happier knowing who killed me. But alas, for once me and Brian weren't on the same page. It was almost more... disturbing than surprising. The psychopath sitting approximately 3 inches to my left began to run his fingers through my hair. I loathed myself for every single second I let him do it, but there was no way I could even think about fighting back.

"You're alive, Tim, because..." Brian sounded breathless yet with every word he spoke I could sense happiness in him. "Because I love you." 

I'm glad I didn't look at him. For once in my miserable fucking existence, I did the right thing. Something in me knew that if he could see the look of undying disgust on my face he'd snap and kill me on the spot. Desperately, I clamped my mouth shut to hold in my cries. This man was sick. Sick, twisted and broken. This man wasn't Brian. This man wasn't _my_ Brian. Just like before, my body began to rattle uncontrollably as I wept with whatever I had left in me. When I met Jay, I thought I was free. To have someone who knew exactly what I was going through and wasn't batshit crazy was near enough a godsend. Everything I saw in Jay was what I lost in Brian. And now here I am, trapped in some nightmarish underground torture chamber with my ex-boyfriend who has the mental stability of a fucking chair.

"Oh don't cry, I did a lot of baaaad stuff to keep you with me. At least be thankful!" The worst part about hearing this? When I couldn't see him, it was if the real Brian I once loved was talking to me. The tone of voice... the way he emphasised certain words...

But he's sick. In everything he says, I can hear it.

"Brian, what do you mean 'bad stuff'?" My eyes fluttered open as I looked back at him. 

Brian sighed and put on a face of remorse. Whether it was true remorse or not, I didn't know, but either way it was alarming. Following thirty seconds of dead silence, he called out Seth's name. As expected, Seth acknowledged Brian's call by waltzing into the room. However, what was unexpected was that Seth was midway through doing up his jeans. Unlike me, Brian was unfazed. Unlike Brian, I wasn't giving Seth bedroom eyes with Seth returning the look. 

_"I love you, Tim."_ The voice of the past Brian chirped in the back of my head.

Have you ever had that feeling in your heart? You know the one. The one where you literally feel your heart getting heavier in your chest, the one that feels like ice in your throat, the one that finally makes you understand what 'heartbreak' means. The one you get when you realise the person who once adored you like no one else could isn't there anymore. Brian isn't Brian anymore. 'Brian' was now a stranger who didn't know wrong from right. And to him, 'Tim' was a toy that held no true value to him. 

Is this bad karma? Is this what I truly deserve? What did it matter if some lunatic in Brian's skin told me he loved me two seconds ago when I had to watch him treat Seth like a new plaything. What a twist- this time it was like I couldn't shut my eyes. No, they were locked on my brown haired boy in the mustard hoodie who abandoned me to plant several convincingly loving kisses on the infamous 'ToTheArk' who tormented me day and night. Nothing seemed real anymore. I just couldn't register it. I can't live like this.

I'd rather die than lose Brian.

And it looks like there's no saving him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo dont forget to comment if you enjoyed! it really keeps me motivated so pls go ahead :~}


	5. I Used To Dream Of The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING ALERT  
> Things get more intense and descriptive- please, please read with caution and take care of yourself ❤️

The road to ruin has my guts splashed all over it like the roadkill I am. Thrown to the sidelines, I felt foul. No amount of extended metaphors could convey any portion of what I felt. Where do I go from here? My mind was scrambled as Seth's luminous eyes lazered into my skull; his glare was borderline radioactive. With one arm securely draped around Brian's waist, he bathed in his victory for another second before addressing me.

'So, Tim,' Calm and collected, Seth spoke with no hesitation. 'What's it like coming face to face with God himself?'

I said nothing.

'Not that I could resurect your friends or anything, they're long past dead.' He laughed at his own joke.

I said nothing.

This was him. The man who skillfully engraved his name into my mind and everything I did; ToTheArk. Every last bone in my aching, shaking body wanted me to return to Jay and untie him from his place in that house. Looking Brian in the face, (as much as I could seeing as his face was burried in Seth's chest) I understood more than ever what I took for granted. Sanity. Freedom. Identity. Never will I be reduced to a shitty screenname or penname- I'm Tim Wright and I'll be damned if some fucker who can't edit for crap takes me down. Adrenaline bubbled in my veins like a freak science experiment gone haywire. I I _will_ get out alive and nothing will stop me.

'I don't need this.' I whispered steadily, bracing my body and catching my breath. 'I don't need you or whatever you have to offer me.'

My senses woke as if I had just been plugged in to a power generator- electricity surged through me and I knew what I had to do. My starved figure swept itself off the bed in one swift, clean movement. Brian and Seth had no idea what was coming- and that's what I loved the most. Striding up the stairs that hindered me not even long ago, I began finding power in things that kept me back. Running suddenly became easier as I took my mind off the shooting pains. It was if my legs had been reinforced with steel and springs- Brian and Seth were still on my tail but I hoped to overtake them in a flash. Whatever breath left my mouth felt like the most cruel cold but I soldiered on. Breaking through the entrance I had no time to spare; it was do or die and I couldn't afford to think about it.

Gone.

'Tim! Please!' A disturbingly desperate cry from not too far behind me.

Gone. All my confidence fluttered out of me as butterflies infested my violently churning stomach. 

'Don't leave me with him!' Now it was more of an animalistic scream than a cry- I had never had the misfortune of hearing something so desperately painful before. I didn't even have to look to know where it was coming from.

But I couldn't stop. My heart wrenched within my chest as my morals cried out in disgust- I had been through inhumane trauma but even this shook my core.

' **You don't know what he does to me! _DON'T LEAVE ME!_**

The hysterical crying got fainter, I knew he was falling behind.

Sickened by myself, sickened by Brian, sickened by Seth, I could barely cope with it anymore. Brian was as broken as could be- but that's just how I found him. I wasn't there when I should of been. I can hate him all I want but it's my fault he turned into this. He'd been gone so long and I had no idea what Seth had been doing to him the entire time with no one to protect Brian. 

The screaming stopped. Brian's screaming. I can't fucking leave him- I can't let Seth hurt him anymore. No matter what Brian did to me I had to forgive because I knew he had no control; he was mentally unstable to the most extreme degree. Abuse on top of abuse, the fact that he stayed alive this whole time with no one to rely on but a borderline manipulative rapist. For the first time, I let my guard down on purpose to go back for someone. I don't know how close Seth is and I don't fucking care. I will save Brian.

Whipping myself around, I frantically scanned the trees for Brian. To my luck, I could see him wrapped up around a tree, his face overshadowed by his hood. With desperate leaps and bounds, I made my way to him and grabbed him without a word. I had no idea what was going through his head- or if anything _was_ going through his head- I just had to trust that he wouldn't turn and kill me. I was doing this for the man I once loved unconditionally. 'Til death do us part.

We ran together, our footprints landing in the earth, perfectly in sync with one another. At least he was somewhat conscious and the fact that he wasn't at my throat was an added bonus. More and more buildings shone through the trees from the main campus before we knew it. My car- it had to be somewhere around here. Escape was almost at my fingertips, teasing my flesh by nipping at it; but my hope was scared off by gunshot noises from the building where I saw Alex the last. Whether it was Seth or Alex, I couldn't afford to look. Just get to the car... get to the fucking car!

In the most beautiful turn of events I had experienced in my lifetime, I clambered into the car, with Brian in the passenger seat, and sped out of the area. Don't misunderstand me, I was fearing for my life knowing I had the lunatic who threw me down the stairs for the sheer fun of it sat right next to me when I couldn't take my eyes off the road. The silence I once found solace in became a new form of horror and anxiety- all I wanted was to hear Brian speak to me as the man he once was. Yet more than anything... no matter what happened to me... I was glad I got Brian away from Seth.

My ears pricked as I heard Brian open up and cry into his sleeves, resting against the window to his side. All I wanted to do was reach over and comfort him, but I was fully aware that he was a time bomb ready to detonate. 

'The voices. I don't know what to do anymore, Tim.' Genuine pain sounded from his cries and pleas to no one in particular. 'I'm hurting so bad. I'm hurting really bad.' 

The child-like simplicity of his wails exposed how truly vulerable he was. It was more than just a sterotypical mood shift, more than just imaginary friends telling him to do 'bad things', Brian was a full grown man now as broken as can be. He was seriously sick and no one can help him anymore. It used to be the other way around. Brian was always there for me during the worst of my relapses; when I was in and out of doctors, crying and screaming in my sleep when faced with memories of my imprisonment as a child. And now all I could do is look on to the shell of the love of my life. At least I was aware that I was sick. I can't say he is.

Both Brian and I were dead inside, all that there was to do now was to finish he job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you think! ik im late with updating but comments always add motivation ;;)


	6. There's No Place To Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the grand finale  
> quite sensitive, be cautious!

My foot conected with the pedal, no thought required. I didn't even dare to imagine what would happen if Seth had his car nearby. Every shallow breath made me feel light-headed, yet thoughts were heavy in my mind. Driving and driving with no end goal, no safe haven on this still standing planet. It was almost as if we were going down a neverending stretch of road. With the state Brian was in, I couldn't put him in the same room as Jay- if Jay was still even at my house in one piece- it'd be too much for any of us to handle. I could sit here, driving us for hours, scouring my memory for safe places to stay but really, I knew this all had to come to a much bigger end.

To my left, it had seemed Brian had zoned out. He was awfully quiet. Not that I had the courage in me to even turn to look at him anymore; the fear of seeing a knife in his hands was all too real. The images in my head, of the knife, of my throat slit, of the blood, all reminding me that we weren't meant to get out alive. At least, not together. But this time, instead of triggering panic, the gore triggered something unexpected. A memory. A memory of a gun. In a car. This car. My breathing hitched as the blood drained from my face, leaving pins and needles in my cheeks. I could do it. It was such a cruel injustice, to save Brian only to make an attempt on his life (again), but what else was I to do? 

We were so close to a climax, to catching Alex and the tension was stronger than ever. It tears me apart to think of what could have been. If Jay could have just held on a little longer, if I had better control of my emotions, if Alex just made one fatal mistake. We could have been something. 'Heroes' is not a title anyone would ever assigned to a beat up group of mental cases like us, but if we could've just had that victory, we'd've been legends. My insides burned with frustration and grief as I worked myself up. It was time for a catharsis. Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, I let the hate that was driving me everday take control of the car. In that moment I could have sworn the bones of my knuckles were going to splice through my flesh from the sheer amount of force I was exerting. Brian took notice. 

"Are you going to crash the car?" His voice was emotionless.

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Now why would I do something like that when I just saved both of our asses?"

"Because you want to hurt Seth and Alex."

If only I was capable of it. Pretending to be enveloped in the road, (despite its emptiness), I refrained from responding any further. Once the noise stopped, the imagery rushed back to me. So many bloody hypotheticals unfolding in my third eye, the edges of my vision were tinted in glowing red. Brian fumbled with the knobs of the car radio beside me, filtering through channels of music he clearly deemed unworthy, until he settled on white noise. The sound of static had become so prominent in my life, it was almost a comfort. Who knew why it resonated so much with Brian, but for once there was something we could both enjoy. Unfortunately, it only lasted bare minutes until the shrill whine was overtaken by an even more violent shriek of car brakes. I had decided to cut our trip short; even shorter than I thought I'd have to. This place will have to do.

Brian looked at me with malice, the sharp change being the cause of his anger. I didn't try to console him nor explain, I just opened the car door with a click and marked my exit with a thud. We had reached another forest. Fuck, I was so sick of these things. Focusing my attention back to Brian, he had followed my lead and left his side of the vehicle but showed no sign of cheering up. Not that I expected him to, anyways. As I consumed my surroundings, a fear crept up my spine and burrowed into the back of my mind. With all this open space, who's to say Brian wouldn't run away? What are the chances that if I do something he considered suspicious he wouldn't just take flight and we'd be back at square one. It was time to strike, but I had no gameplan. Hell, I didn't even have an excuse as to why we were here. All I had was a gun, my car and my trembling hands. Now and then, my eyes would flicker to where Brian was stood; every time my sights landed on that filthy mustard hoodie and that sandy beadhead this jolt of regret exploded like a firework through my nerves. This was a mistake- I've cornered nobody but myself. 

Brian rolled his head to crack his neck. "So," He grunted. "What are we supposed to do?"

I replied fast, a little too fast to be casual. "There's a place- I have- I have a place." My voice quivered and faltered. Brian stiffened immediately.

Tucking his hands into his hoodie pockets, he strolled leisurely towards me, eyebrows furrowed and his nose in the air to look down upon me. Whatever faux confidence that made me think I was the one in control flickered like a candle, threatening to blow out. "What?" He scoffed patronisingly. "You bring me out here for a quick fuck or something?" 

"No! No, no, god no. Farthest thing from that. No, Brian, no." 

"Damn... have I really gotten that bad looking?" He scratched his chin and laughed to himself. I wasn't up for the banter but as long as it threw him off my real intentions, so be it. We didn't really say much after that; I much prefered non-verbal communication. I motioned for him to wait for me next to a path entrance. 'Wanderer's Trail' I think it was called. Following suit, he made his way over, meaning he had his back to me. I seized the moment and hauled my cark trunk open with one mighty lift. Scouring the inside, I skimmed over anything and everything. God knows where I even stashed the damn thing. Clearing away the spare tapes, empty water bottles and random clothing articles, my hand knocked what seemed to be a pocket in the side of the trunk. Triumph! I pulled the cold metal weapon from the pocket, did a double-take over my shoulder, and slid it into the waistband of my jeans. With a quick adjustment of my flannel shirt, it seemed to be concealed.

I rejoined Brian. "You ready? I'll lead." He nodded in response.

We trekked down a generic muddy park path. Birds singing, grass swaying, all that bullshit. The longer we walked for, the more trees encompassed us. I can't say I wasn't alarmed by Brian's seemingly unquestioning loyalty but the less struggle, the better. As perfect as it was though, I genuinely didn't know this place. How far would be far enough? Do people usually populate this place at this time? How long would it be until Brian's body was found? Brian's body. I threw another glance over my shoulder just to get another look at Brian's face- there was no way I could hide the anxiety on my face this time. To think in a matter of hours, minutes even, he'd be a body- a dark eyed husk with no soul inside. My hands moved from my side to cup his face but stopped quickly when the context of this all came crashing down on me. I couldn't touch him. Not like I used to. Not a million lifetimes is enough time to recover from the loss of the person I loved most. His body wasn't dead- not yet- but it's safe to say he died a long time ago. Maybe I should have let Seth kill him. That way I could save myself the guilt. I wonder if Brian, the fully realised Brian before all the trauma, would rather die by my hands or not. What did it matter anyways, it's not like I could turn around and change my mind.

"You're staring. Why are you staring?" Brian caught on to my odd behaviour.

I unraveled. "I was thinking. Thinking about us- how we used to be and-" Oh how I wanted to shut up and stop blurting it all out. But I kept going. "We were so great. You loved me, you really loved me and I- I loved you and- it was so nice to be loved and... and normal." Great, I started fucking crying.

A light switched on in his eyes, but his expression was indecipherable. Something resembling intrigue, mixed with surprise and even a dash of happiness. Disregarding the tears flowing down my face, he grabbed me by my upper arms and inspected me. It was almost like he was too interested in studying me to even understand what my emotions actually meant.

"Are you upset? You're crying. You've been thinking about us? After I knocked you down some stairs you're thinking about our love? That's fucking stupid." He didn't even sound pissed, he just maintained a surprised tone throughout. Moving his hands from my arms to my face, he tilted my head up but I couldn't look him in the face.

My sore eyes burned as I looked as far away from the direction of Brian's face as I could physically manage. "Yes, yes, yes I have been. I- I cant help it. Don't you think about it?" I refused to look back at him but I latched onto his wrists as my legs started to give. "You said it- you said you loved me and look at us now. I want to know, I need to know if I- if I can do something, anything to make you love me again." Lying, lying, lying. But there's always some truth to it.

"Look. Look!" He demanded and I obeyed. "I can love you. If we love each other, we can kill Alex and Seth. Me and you. Can you do that for me? Can you do it, can you kill someone with me?" As he spoke more intensely, he became way less gentle. He had no patience to wait for my reply; he pulled me close, swiftly, by the front of my shirt. I played into it. Without even thinking about the consequences, I smashed my mouth into his, throwing my arms up and around his neck but making sure to keep my lower half apart from his so he wouldn't feel the gun hidden in my waistband. We stumbled back a few steps but Brian recovered fast enough to kiss me back. There was so much energy between the two of us yet it came from two completely different reasons. I drew my energy from knowing that this was a goodbye. There was no real love in this, only digust on my half. If I can just pull this off, get this one thing right and have him under my thumb, I'll never have to play the game again. Brian drew his energy from feeding off mine. Although he had no idea what my end goal was, he liked my reaction. Studying emotions and mimicking them was his thing. He didn't really feel shit, I accepted that. This kiss was Brian's shot at studying human behavior; a way to dissect me without getting messy. For every second this kiss lasted the hate that drove me here flooded back to me. Almost, almost time.

We didn't part except for when we had to draw quick, shallow breaths. I knew fully well that he wouldn't give up until I did and that bought me some time. Using the heat of the moment as my scapegoat, I pinned Brian to a local tree without breaking away from his lips. He was right where I needed him, distracted and unaware but he was the one who caught me off guard. Unfortunately for me, he misinterpreted my diversion as something... a little more. Before I could execute my plan (to execute him), Brian grabbed my hips to get me as close as possible. Throwing my head back, I watched his face drop as his right hand smacked onto the chunk of metal pinned to my waist.

"Oh, fuck." His eyes widened as he murmured to no one but himself.

I whipped the firearm out as I choked back fear induced vomit. It was almost like I tried to stab him and shoot him at the same time. Disregarding how close I was to his body, I drove the gun into his chest with both hands, my feet pushing against the ground so I could lean all my weight into him and dig the gun into his skin. With seconds to react, Brian started shouting threats as his gloved hands attempted to wrench me away so he could escape his fate. 

**BANG.**

The sound vibrated through me as I was sent flying backwards. Once the deed was done, the force from it knocked me into the ground. I cradled my aching head as my skull collided with the frozen mud floor and solid tree root. Desperate to see what was going on, I forced my self up despite my black out vision. Particles that didn't even exist littered my sight no matter how much I blinked. It all felt like slow motion. Maybe I shouldn't have tried so hard to get a look. Once I was able to see, my eyes settled on the cavity in Brian's chest. With his back slumped against the tree, the blood stain on the bark showed he had slid down into a sitting position whilst I spent my time recovering from the after effects of pulling the trigger. There was no colour in his face. No more light in his eyes. He wheezed, maybe two or three times, but no sound was left apart from the ringing in my ears and my sobbing. I sat on my knees trying to make the connection. The blood, the corpse, the wound, a murder. All done by my hands. You never think you'll ever be capable of murder. 'No, not me. Even if I was angry, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.' No matter how much I mulled over it, staring at the lifeless figure of someone I used to know, I couldn't grasp the reality that I was now a murderer. What Alex would say if he was here, I don't even want to think about it. Gasping and spluttering, I felt like I had ran a mile. There was so much to do now; I had hoped that with Brian's death came a new freedom but I was being naive. There was a body to hide, blood to clean, a car to get back to. Fuck, Brian, why are you such a chore even after your death? I could name you a million different emotions that followed after doing what I had done; torment, grief, rage, regret, so on and so forth. Yet though a part of me died with Brian, it seemed worth it. Who knows if I'll ever recover from this. I'm sure I won't. But only one thing matters now, one thing I have to hold on to. Doing this, killing Brian, snuffing out his misery and the suffering he brought me and others, it gave me a power that I haven't had yet. Knowing I prevailed.


End file.
